there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
