party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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