Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
