Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
