I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
