You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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