Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
