Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
