Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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