i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
