Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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