Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
