No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
