she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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