Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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