Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
