im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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