So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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