Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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