what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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