So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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