Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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