That's intense
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
