Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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