Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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