Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
