Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
