Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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