Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
