apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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