No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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