You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
