Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize