I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
