apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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