Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
