dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize