I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
