look no pants
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
