the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
