My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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