I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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