We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
