just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
