As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
