The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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