if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
