I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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