i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
