I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
