dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize