Nicole vs. Life
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
