Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
