That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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