kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize