after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
