capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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