I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
