Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There are leaves in my underwear?
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